They say the source of your sustenance is long ago written for you.
Who would have known that I would stumble across the country to this far-flung place to start work in the morning, leaving my home and my so carefully planned job?
You were the first one to ever call me doctor.
Wish me luck, my love.
Wherever I go, I count the miles between us
It’s as though it was all nothing to you.
It’s as though you wiped me from your life.
Do you read these? Do you know I only write so that you can read it? But I don’t think you do.
It’s like there’s no sign that you were ever mine.
It’s her birthday tonight, and you’re with her.
So why do I wake in the night and reach for you?
You know, as a doctor I hated cigarettes. But now you’re gone, I miss the way you held them. Now I crave to hold one. Maybe they taste like your lips.
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways..
Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861)
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, —- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! —- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
I remember teaching this to a class once.
You were there too.
Did you know that really I was reading it for you?
He liked these two quotes.
They contained our story and our sorrows.
endlessdreams21 said: There's something about the way you write that evokes the pain in every heart. But it also confuses one at times, at times it sounds like he broke your heart but you also say that he loves you immensely even as he gets married to another? I wish I knew what your story was. Maybe one day you'll write about it. But love and duas your way <3
I think if I was to write it now it would kill me. Maybe one day.
You won’t find trace of me again.
I pray that you never need to look.
No one will be softer for you than I am, you had said. No one else can be your security the way I am.
But when you turned hard towards me, where did I have left to go?
I’m leaving our city.
I’ll drive and drive as though I have somewhere to go and someone to go to.
He forgot me.
over losing him,
she wept for parts
of herself that were
forever lost with him.
Today I got ready for your wedding too.
All morning I lay in bed in the silence, reciting like a tasbih: “I will not cry, I will not cry”.
Then I watched the clock hands turn and suddenly I knew I must be there to see you as a groom.
I lined my eyes the way hers must be lined, but with shaky mehndi-less hands. I coloured my lips a bridal red.
I drove like my life depended on it: “Please God, let me see him”.
Days ago, you had said to me: “Marry me too. Let’s make this work”. I had looked at you with wounded eyes.
The sun is out for your wedding, my love